"I am not a word, I am not a line. I am a girl that can never be defined" - Syifaa' and I'm just another messed up kid.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

What if

How does one define success? Does having a family and a  six digit job define the word success? How does one determine the degree of success? Is there a mathematical or physical equation to support the observation? Or is it just another stereotype? I don't wanna be the girl who looks back thinking what could have been instead of  things that have been. I don't wanna be the one who looks back saying, I should've done this! They say life is a canvas and the steps we take forms a painting, a painting which differ from one individual to another. I missed those days where all the decision I had to make, was what colour would the flower be. I'm not ready for life. I'm not ready to make life-changing decisions. I'm not ready to take a leap because I'm scared. I'm scared of making wrong decisions and winding up in a place where I'll be haunted by the 'ifs' of the past. I'm scared of not  coming up to par with anybody's expectation of me. I make bad decisions and by the look of it, i know I'm pretty much useless. But I know, the power to change is in my capable hands, it's just in the matter of my strength of willingness.

"Lost and insecure, you found me
Lying on the floor."

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